we've been friends for ten years. can you believe it, ten years.
though lately, i've felt rather let down by the relationship that we hold. it has seemed one sided and honestly, not worth the effort that i contribute anymore.
i love you. yes, i love you dearly. but i feel as though the last time i saw you, i was put aside for phone calls, text messages. quick to find your phone when it rings. quick to answer it. funny how whenever i have called or texted you, i hear no answer, no reply. i am quickly brushed aside for other people, other friends. i do not think that i can call you that friend that i once did.
i will always cherish the good times that we once had. those high school days driving around in my dad's truck. the countless hours spent talking about boys and the girls they dated. the pictures.
but over the last year many promises have been made ... and then broken. i know i tell you that it's ok and i'm fine. but in the end, i'm not fine. i lied. i couldn't tell you i was mad at you, that i was let down everytime you promised to be there for one of the milestones that my life held. you know, the ones that i wanted to share with you? but again, there was always something or someone better. like calling off all plans for dinner at a certain restaurant or a road trip with people you can even stand. over me.
i can no longer put all the emotional responsiblity of a friendship with you on me. i can no longer waste energy on the effort that is put forth, but not returned.
i will always love you as my friend and confidant, the person that i turned to when i needed to talk ... but for now, i need to do this for myself. i feel like i am dragging my feet in the mud continuting on. it's time to get on dry land.
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2 comments:
thank you for sharing! I too had to let a dear friend go because she was more of a burden than a friend. She sucked all my energy and took advantage of me. It hurts, but you can still love someone and not be in their lives. Sometimes it's just best that way.
It's really sad when someone has so much to tell a person, especially someone they claim to love so dearly and yet instead of addressing the situation and telling that person how they feel so that they can both solve the misunderstanding they write about it on some idiotic blog and nothing gets accomplished.
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